What’s wrong with her anyway?
Well, that’s up for debate. My husband gets asked this a lot. He doesn’t always know how to answer. I don’t either, actually.
Do you want specific diagnoses? Do you want symptoms? Maybe you can just figure I’m nuts. Or maybe you think I’m just “not a morning person” or that I’m lazy or whatever. It’s fine with me if you’d like to make assumptions. Just don’t share them aloud, thanks.
I don’t think I have any diseases. At least, I wouldn’t classify them as diseases. Although, Webster’s Dictionary might:
noun: a disordered or incorrectly functioning organ, part, structure, or system of the body resulting from the effect of genetic or developmental errors, infection, poisons, nutritional deficiency or imbalance, toxicity, or unfavorable environmental factors; illness; sickness; ailment.
You want the long list or the summary? Basically, I suffer from chronic pain, chronic fatigue, chronic migraines and chronic digestive disorders, and my immune system is out of whack, probably my hormones are too. There are a few other things thrown in there, but that’s a basis of it. I need to be near a bed & bathroom 95% of the time. I have been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, Chronic Headaches, Chronic Migraines, Chronic Fatigue, IBS, RLS, Acid Reflux, Hypoglycemia and Orthostatic Hypotension. My doctor suspects Endometriosis as well, but she wouldn’t test me for it because I can’t take birth control (risk of stroke because of my migraines). Her words, not mine.
She looks … normal.
Yep, I do. Although, I think I look like a zombie on most days, but everyone says I look fine. Looks can be deceiving, haven’t you heard that? I’ve lost weight from various illnesses and then gained it back. I don’t have a “sick” look. I look like everyone else. That is why Fibromyalgia, Migraines, Chronic Fatigue and Irritable Bowel Syndrome are referred to as “invisible” illnesses. There are varying degrees of these illnesses and some people are bed-ridden or need a wheelchair to get around. Fortunately, God has spared me – for the most part. I own a cane, but I’m too embarrassed to use it, even if I need to. And there are many days that I spend in bed. There are many hours spent on the toilet. Many hours spent groaning and moaning because it hurts. It really hurts. I can’t even explain the pain other than to say it’s stupid and ridiculous. When I seem most normal, I’m still living at at least level 4 pain. Sometimes I can be “okay” one minute and the next be in extreme pain or have to run to the toilet. There is no rhyme or reason to any of it. Yes, I have “triggers” and I try to avoid them at all costs, but frequently, I don’t know why it jumps out of nowhere.
Why doesn’t she try changing her diet? Or <insert whatever else here>? Or find a doctor that can treat her?
I have. I have tried countless things to help with the symptoms of these syndromes (<–hate that word!) I have. I have not yet found anything that helps. Doctors, helpful doctors? Are there such a thing?
I know <insert person> who has <insert whatever> and they do <whatever> and they’re fine. Maybe she just doesn’t want to get better.
Maybe they hide it well. There are varying degrees of these illnesses. Some people have very mild symptoms or have found things that work for them. It’s not for my lack of trying, believe me. Whoa, I don’t WANT to get better? Never accuse me of that – even though I’ve come to accept this.
I honestly do not want your pity. Prayers are always welcomed. There is no cure for any of the things I suffer from (even if there are websites or “doctors” that claim there are.) This is something God has allowed in my life for a reason. I wholly believe it is not ever going to go away. They say “everybody has something,” well, I have a few somethings and that’s okay. It’s all right for me to be ill. It is. I may hate it. I may object loudly and complain, but it’s okay. I’m human and broken. God has allowed this to be my life to teach me to lean on Him … and I’m still working out the other reasons. God’s ways are not my ways.
How can I pray for her? (Bless you for asking.)
Strength. Endurance. I’m only 38 (well, I will be on the 17th) and knowing these things are chronic … Pray for my husband, for my kids – for strength and understanding and compassion.
What can I do?
Send presents. No, seriously, prayer is the biggest thing. Other than that, you can connect with me on Facebook or via email.